Thursday, March 17, 2005

Life huh?

I wonder alot of things, but most I wonder about is what is my purpose here. I love my kids, my husband, my family but yet at times I can be so sad. People from the outside think my life must be great. I guess I can put on a good show. I have so much I want to accomplish. I want to heal the world and see everybody happy but this world isn't like that. You can't fix everybody and truth be told not everybody wants to be fixed. That also makes me sad. I love seeing people happy probably even more than seeing myself happy. My kids: their smiles light up my world and when my husband laughs a hearty laugh it makes my day but there's so much life in between all of that. I can't stand money. It causes problems- no matter what there's too much or not enough. Always. Why can't things be easier? I see so much in this world and realize how fortunate we are yet I'm told that I try to see the world through rose colored glasses. Nobody realizes that my anxiety comes when I take those glasses off. It hard feeling like nobody truly understands those feelings. Even when people say they do, you wonder, do they really get it? Life huh???

I am reading each of your posts and can sense that your emotional expeirences are both confusing and intense.
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