Friday, September 23, 2005

I'm so tired of this...

I'm so tired of feeling like this. I need support and don't know what anybody can say to help me. Everybody says hang in there but damn I'm at the end of my rope..I've tied a knot and I'm hanging on as tight as I can.

I wanna laugh, I don't wanna feel this saddness deep inside of me and I don't want to keep freaking out everywhere I go. I'm tired of being in pain physically, mentally, emotionally, just everything...

We had to go to dinner for my brother in laws birthday tonight and the whole night has just been a blur to me. I remember sitting in the restaurant and just staring at my plate, feeling sick to my stomach and feeling like I was stuck in my own little sad world. I could see people laughing around me but couldn't join. I couldn't snap out of it and then I started getting anxious thinking OMG everybody probably knows I'm freaking out right now, they must think I have serious issues (I do ) but I don't like feeling like I'm being judged and truth be known now that I'm home nobody probably even noticed. I was invisable.

Does all that make sense?

Thankfully I have my beautiful children and my husband, who has been more understanding then I would've ever imagined he could be...

Oh this path is so hard to walk. I hope that you will tt your dr. about how u r feeling. I have been blue for a while, but am digging out. You will too. Baby steps...One of my favorite blogs: has beautiful posts and insight into depression and "freaking out"-everyone freaks out sometimes. Try her blog.
Take care, I'm here and I have felt the same way--very recently and you are NOT alone. hugs, Renee
Hugs to you..I understand...Your not alone. Hope you have better days ahead.

Very hard to live with what you have on a daily basis. My heart goes out to you.

Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?