Friday, October 21, 2005


I have goals...We all should. I tend to neglect mine at times but I'm trying really hard to get back on track. I realize what will make me a better wife, a better mother, a better friend, etc, is to be the best me I can be. I don't always want to have the "do what I say not as I do" lifestyle for my children. I graduated high school with honors and started college. However, I was pregnant with my son and had him before the fall semester ended and never went back.

Today, I took a BIG step, I enrolled in college. I'm going for it. I would like to get my associates degree in early childhood education. I know it's going to be tough balancing everything but it's something I really feel I need to do. For me.

I have a habit of getting involved in things and diving in head first, even to the point of overwhelming myself. I do it with work, I do it with new friends, I do it with hobbies, everything... Don't get me wrong, I don't regret any of the experiences I've had. I know they've all lead me to where I am. However, I also know, I do what I can with something new real fast and then eventually get bored and want to go on to something else. It seems I have LOTS of big idea's but tend to not stick with them.

So, I'm going to start trying to stick with the things I want. I'm going to follow through until the end. I'm promising myself. On top of that I'm going to balance everything so that I don't start neglecting other areas of my life while I'm trying this new venture.

Longterm goals...

1) My Associates Degree
2) New Home
3) Open a daycare/preschool
4) Write a book (possibly a children's book)
5) Still get that honeymoon with hubby

On another note- this isn't necessarily a goal but something I would love advice on doing.

I have some people in my life whom I've been very hurt by (mainly my mother and father) I know these people love me but still expect me to be something I'm not. I want to learn how to forgive and accept this. Do I tell them they've made me feel like this? Even if it could possibly hurt them and will never change the way they are? I know it would probably be better to go a little more in depth about the issues but I just don't feel like going through it all over again today. I've already had to absorb a lot since I've had phone calls from both my mother and father today. I also have another person who is very important to me that I would love to solve all of their problems but instead tend to take them on myself too.

Why do I continue to overwhelm myself with other people's issues?
Why can't I accept that if somebody doesn't want to change, they won't, no matter how destructive they may be being to themselves?
Why do I allow myself to be hurt when I know that's not always the intention of the other person?

I guess I need to figure out some of these things and add that as an emotional goal.

Any advice is always appreciated. Thanks stranger friends.

Parents sometimes put undue pressures on us to satisfy their own subconscious shortfalls (does tht sound right -deb). You just have to learn to live for yourself, meet your own goals and live life for yourself and not them. You also need to express that desire to them. I can relate to the other person you're talking about. One of my brothers has a drinking problem. I had to realize that until he's ready to stop, there's nothing i can do about it but pray. Sometimes you have to let go and let people live their lives even if it means they're walking down an unhealthy road. That jorney might be necessary for them to win the battle.
I think that your long term goals are very attainable...God bless her endevers:)
great goals, stranger friend!
OMG, these are WONDERFUL. Congratulations on all your big steps.

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Just checking in..I hope all is well.
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